Well my dear friends, It seems to be that my first blog post, which was conveniently on a Monday… was in fact an anomaly, considering that I have not managed to meet that deadline since. Forgive me, as I am sleep deprived and lazy, as any young musician should be.
I am currently writing to you from my bench in the van. We are on our way to Washington currently. We just got Jean Claude cleaned for the very first time. This poor abused hunk of metal and gears deserved a bath to say the least.
So let me fill you in on this last week, as I believe it has been the most eventful and strangely fantastical week of this tour thus far. I will pick up where I left you on the edge of your seat last week… thats right, I was doing my laundry and going to bed at 2 am.
So, we had a rehearsal space rented in Nashville for four hours, as we needed to run through our set for this two hour show we are playing in Florida in a few weeks. Folks, playing music for two solid hours is a lot of work. Now I am NOT complaining in any way, I’m just saying, hey! it is hard! Anyway, we rehearsed, and then went to our managers office for a little debrief meeting. I would just like to pause story time for a moment to state that our managers are AMAZING! (blake or jim if you are reading this, I’m not trying to kiss up, I’m just being honest) Seriously they look out for our best interests and they want us to succeed. I am so very very blessed by all that they do for us, they are like our family, I do not know where we would be without them… probably back in Nevada playing a show in Dayton or something (sorry anyone who lives in Dayton and actually likes it.) Ok I’ve said my piece.
So we went to our manager’s office for a quick meeting and then headed out of town, we decided to head to columbus a day early because, yes... once again your deductive skills are exceptionally accurate… a snow storm was heading our way. Now THIS is where our lives got exceptionally ironic my friends, because it was not two hours into our journey that we got trapped in a snow storm in Kentucky. You may have read about it on USA today. Thats right, we drove straight into the jowls of this ice monster with full confidence that we were being responsible and precautionary. HA!
So we sat there… bumper to bumper, the break lights of a hundred cars trailed in front of us, glowing and blinking, painting the white snow like a florescent river that flowed into endless oblivion. We sat there, we talked, we slept, we ate a plethora of sodium filled, partially hydrogenated snacks and for twelve hours we existed like this. After a painstakingly long and tedious path off the highway and into Elizabethtown, the six members of I Am They creeped into the parking lot of a Days Inn. Then all of a sudden, our rubber wheels were no longer pushing us forward.. the faint smell of burning rubber wafted through the vents, and the sound of a small cat screeching for attention flooded our ears… we were stuck. Trapped like rats! On a sheet of thick of ice just FEET away from the motel, our van decided that enough was enough and it wouldn’t go a foot fu ther. Well played Jean Claude, well played. This moment was honestly laughable, we knew even as we were down in the ice and snow digging out our tires and pushing that beast over that hump of frozen water, that this was a memory that we would never forget, that this was an adventure and it was one that we got through together. And so, with frozen toes and fingers, we tramped through the snow to our motel rooms which were, of course, in the farthest building on the back side, on the second floor, with only precariously icy stairs to get us there. But we got there nonetheless, for we were determined my dears, we had made our toes and hands and hearts the promise of a clean bed and sleep, and gosh darn it, if we are not men of our word, than what are we?!? The clock read 6:15am, we closed the shades to keep out the sunlight that was swiftly coming, and slept.
Day two trapped in Elizabethtown, we woke up at around 2pm with growling tummies and headaches from the bazar 24 hours we had just survived. I would love to report that the madness ended there, but that would be a fallacy. We emerged from our sleeping dens to fill our bellies with something other than pringels and trail mix, and discovered that most of the business and restaurants were closed, due to the fact that no one could get to work, and the places that were still open were being run by faithful employees that had been there for over 20 hours. All I have to say is thank the good Lord for Waffle House, for it fed our bellies twice over. We ate and went back to our rooms to sleep, because the next day we were to brave the snow and head to Pittsburg. Oh yes, I had quite forgotten to mention dear reader that the show in Columbus Ohio was canceled due to the fact that the entire tour cast and production crew were trapped in the antarctic that this Kentucky had become. So back to our beds we went, expectant of the painstakingly slow journey that awaited us with the coming of the sun. And there was evening, and there was morning, the third day.
On our way to Pittsburg we were thrilled to not be in Elizabethtown anymore, because (contrary to the cinematic feature) it was so dull we thought we may go crazy if we were to be trapped there a day more. But no! we sped down the freeway to a much more exciting and thrilling locale. Helllllooooo PITTSBURG! We were so grateful to be back into the groove of playing a show, all of the setting up and tearing down seemed like a privilege compared to our last three days of captivity. The city of Pittsburg, with is roar and bomb of industry, its grand old buildings color block with eras past, was very good to us. It’s frosty air froze our tushes off… but we weren’t in Elizabethtown anymore! We slept sweetly across the river, our hotel looking out across that icy current, peering into the concrete maze all lit up like christmas presents underneath a great pine tree of promise and potential. The sun coaxed the night back behind the hills once more with the promise of rebirth, and we made our way back to Kentucky. No don’t you worry, Louisville this time. We arrived at the venue, the scent of cow manure and hey hung thick in the air. We were playing in the convention center that was also hosting a cattle show. Perfect. I will say this dears, this scent did remind me of home, and tugged on my heart with longing for the damp valley of washoe and the towering sierras. I am happy to report to you that the Louisville show that night was the best show we have had so far. Everything went off without a hitch, the technology didn’t fail us, the people were kind and loving, and the air smelled like sweet sweet cow crap! Who could ask for anything more! After the show we all headed to the hotel to get some much needed rest for tomorrow the dads (Matt and Raul) would fly home to spend some mandatory time with their families, and Adam, Sara, Justin and I would start our drive across the country.
The next morning I woke up with 500 miles stuck in my head, perhaps it was my subconscious mocking me with the many miles our lives were about to cross over and the time it would consume. With the persistent and peppy lyrics still ringing in my head, we rolled out of the parking lot of the comfort in and set our corse for Topeka Kansas. Dear friends… I do not think I have ever been more bored or upset with landscape than when driving through Kansas. It took everything in me to not scream “WHY GOD?!?” at the top of my lungs when every few minutes or so. I would look at the clock thinking hours must have gone by, and realize that it had only been a few minutes. Kansas if flat as a pancake y’all… and at least twice as big as a pancake. A friend from the tour warned us that we would hate our lives driving through Kansas, and boy was he right. So we pushed on, painful mile after painful mile (by the way I know I am being unusually cruel to Kansas, but I promised you honestly and frankness and that is what I shall give you.) Plus I triple dog dare ANYONE from Kansas to disagree with the fact that driving through your state stinks. Ok off the soap box of sucky Kansas, we arrived in Topeka…. wait I’m not done railing on Kansas yet. Ok Topeka WHERE ARE YOUR CIVILIANS? This “town” literally looked like it had just been hit my a zombie apocalypse. The four of us were not only in fear for our lives, afraid that a hungry zombie was lurking around every corner, but we were just plain sad. Mini corn dogs and terrible tacos for dinner… bed. Another day, another day that we were not going to be driving through Kansas. Let me just say, there is nothing that will make you appreciate landscape like driving through… well you get it. Our destination was Laramie Wyoming. So we drove, trees and hills rushing by like some glorious smeared oil painting. Peering out of our bug gut splattered windshield, we wondered at the vastness of our great country. We were amazed by the miles and miles of uninhabited land. Wyoming was a beautiful drive, the landscape is starting to look more and more like home, just heading towards the west coast is making us heart sick for our families and our beds. We stopped in Denver Colorado for dinner and some excellent ice cream of course. We arrived in Laramie and buried our heads into fluffy white pillows and dreamed dreams of the day that we would not being sitting in a moving vehicles for ten plus hours every day. And in the morning we were off to Boise! We had developed a system of rotating drivers.. the three of us (Justin cannot drive dear reader, due to his record) and so we each drive a little each day so as to not wear ourselves out. I just wanted to say this so that you were not concerned for our safety. We got into Boise safe and sound and ate some fantastic food. We stayed at a friend’s parent’s house, and I must say that I was green with envy over this home. It was right out of a magazine, I swear the only thing that was missing was the scent of fresh baked cookies wafting through the air and I would have promised my first born in exchange for that little slice of reality heaven. We enjoyed not sleeping in a hotel room. And now I bring you to today… because I have no work ethnic or time management skills, I am using my “time away from the wheel” to write to you dear reader of our many senseless adventures. Today we slept in and tumbled out of bed and went to get some food and then we cleaned Jean Claude, because he was VERY VERY dirty (I’m sure you can imagine.) Now we are on the road to Kent Washington. We are set to pick up Matt and Raul from the airport, and all head to the hotel tomorrow. We have almost completed our journey across the country, and I couldn’t be more elated!
I now realize that I have said too much, and must stop before I start ranting about Kansas again.
Forgive me dears for my silly brain and the way I express it’s frustrations in my uninteresting words.
I will try to do better next week.
Till then, I remain truly and tiredly yours.
Stephanie Liana Kulla.
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